In case you haven't noticed, zombies make any movie better. Take for example the movie The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. This movie which is probably the worst movie you could ever see is just barely watchable with the help of its zombie motif. This goes to show the power zombies have.
The movie starts out with a scene in a greasy Gypsy's fortune telling shop at a fair. In the shop is a portly man who is quite drunk and says, "There isn't enough booze in the world that could get me to sleep with you." This says a lot about these two characters: One is a raging alcoholic and the other is very unattractive. At any rate the drunk angers the ugly gypsy and she calls out her henchman Ortega to get rid of the offending man. Ortega proceeds to splash him with a mysterious liquid with a skull and cross bones on it which then turns him into a zombie. The movie suddenly get interesting... actually it doesn't but the credits do start to roll and that's about as much entertainment that this movie has to offer.
After the wonderful names of unknown actors and the uneasiness of the audience as they ponder why the camera is pointed at a Ferris wheel. This wheel is integral to the plot, or, I guess, movie (there is no plot) in that is shows up quite often for seemingly no reason at all. Now we meet the protagonist of the show. A rapscallion by the name of Jerry. He is an artsy type who the "lovely" Marge falls in love with. The two go to the fair along with Jerry's roommate Harold, who is a foreigner and barely understandable. They stumble upon the booth which holds the aforementioned fortune telling gypsy. They go in and give her they're generic punk kid attitude and she glares at them the glare that means they are about to die in some unfortunate way. Alas, they don't and the movie continues.
Walking out of the dingy gypsy stall they come across the booth with the strippers. This was probably to add some sex appeal to the movie. However, for this to work you would have to be middle aged and not have very high standards. This scene was a disappointment to say the least -- shame on you movie.
After my nap I was surprised to find that the movie had still not ended and in fact had not advanced in any dramatic way at all. Now we come to the climax of the movie. Forgive me if the description does not make sense, but as you can imagine, it probably doesn't matter. The tragically misunderstood youth, Jerry, gets sploshed with the instant zombie formula and is now a zombie, yay for Movie it's not a little bit better. He kills some people and then jumps off a cliff. I've never been so glad for a movie to end, but even with the terrible script, terrible acting and terrible movie-ness of this movie I want to see it again just to make fun of it some more. The Incredibly Strange Creature Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies is a must see movie for anybody who has a good sense of humor and like to make fun of things. Peace be with you.
